20. He's not your buddy, friend
A wonderful coincidence.
I was a server during college at an upper-scale restaurant. Once, I had a table for four with only three patrons there, an older couple with their adult daughter. I served them beverages and was told we were to wait for patron No. 4, the son.
About 40 minutes and two refills go by. I say, "I bet you guys are starving by now. Would you like me to bring you our lettuce wraps — they’re small enough to not ruin your appetite — or are we still waiting for my buddy?"
The father said, "We are going to wait. And he isn't your buddy. Frankly, you don't know him, he's a hard-working man and will be respected."
"You're right, sir, forgive me."
"He actually has a real job."
"I understand, sir, it won't happen again."
When I came back for the third refill, the son had arrived. The son happened to be an old high school friend of mine, so before taking a seat, he gave me a hug right in front of his dad.
I looked at the father and said, "Small world, huh, I can't believe you’re my old buddy’s family. I’m surprised we’ve never met before with [friend’s name] and I spending so much time together in high school."
It's too bad our restaurant didn't serve crow.
19. Of iPhones and ingrates
Instant regret.
Worked at a telecom in Canada. This lady came in with a broken iPhone and demanded to get a new one for free.
In Canada, the iPhone 6S was going for about $400 upfront on a two-year contract at a minimum $80 plan. She had a good plan but wanted it for free.
She called up our loyalty team in the store and spent the next two hours screaming at them. Finally, they agreed to a deal, and she got the phone for zero. She looked at me and went, “I do not want a case and AppleCare is a scam.”
We also worked on commission, so this essentially meant I was getting nothing and ruining my numbers. She kept telling me to hurry up through the setup, while I was trying to get them out of the store with everything transferred over and set up.
She grabbed the phone and marched off, saying that I was a terrible employee.
She got three steps out of the store and dropped the phone — shattered white screen of death.
She ran back in, asking what I could do. I shrugged and went, “Sorry, but AppleCare sure would have helped, eh?”
18. A fashion faux-pas
If the skirt fits, wear it.
I worked in this fancy clothing store in this posh town at the seaside. It was a busy Saturday, when suddenly a very pretentious girl walked in with her boyfriend, ignoring us as we greeted her and even giving my colleague a demeaning look. She went on to browse around in the store and eventually took some clothes with her in the changing booth.
After a while I notice a heated conversation arising from the booth between her and her boyfriend. I see the boyfriend running back and forth between the booth and some clothing racks. In the meanwhile she refused any help from my colleague and I and didn't leave the booth.
So we continued working and helping other customers. I was working the register when suddenly the girl turned up next to me, angry and ranting about "how the store/brand really should work on the clothes fitting and how we were complete screw ups.”
I was completely caught off guard, and right when I wanted to ask her what the exact problem was, I saw my colleague looking at the girl while bursting out this horribly loud laugh, tears and all.
The girl had taken with her a clothing piece she thought was a strapless dress. Well, it wasn't a dress. It was a skirt.
The girl had tried on all the sizes and got completely fed up, yelling at us and her boyfriend because the “FREAKIN’ DRESS WON'T FIT.”
So she walked out in a crowded store, making a scene, with a skirt pulled up to her chest. After she left I laughed till crying.
17. Furious and forgetful
Talk about focusing on the wrong thing.
I used to return customer credit cards by setting them on a square podium and swiping them so they ended up right by the customer when I swung the screen around. One lunch rush (I worked at a takeout restaurant), a lady decided this was an offense of the highest order and yelled at me for not placing it directly in her hand.
I stupidly engaged her and tried to explain that I did that for everybody, which got me a continued lecture about how she was the customer and good service was doing what she wanted and so on.
There were about a dozen people eating at our tables and five people in the line behind her, so she was straight hamming it up, making sure everyone saw her putting me in my place.
Unfortunately for her, the dramatic performance proved to be a bit too distracting and she stormed out without her infant.
This was of course noticed by pretty much everyone in the building, since she had just made herself the center of attention. One of the customers even had to run after her and stop her from driving away.
For the record, there is no real subtle way to pick up a full-size child carrier.
| quasiix
16. Trash and dash
What a garbage person.
Worked the window at a McDonald’s late at night. This guy orders whatever and pulls up to the window.
I opened the window to take his card or cash and he threw a bag of trash at me. I took a step back and watched his car speed off. I'm angry, but there was nothing I could do.
A couple seconds later I heard a small bang of metal on metal. I walked to the lobby and looked out the windows.
He had slammed into a police cruiser who was about to loop around and use the drive thru himself.
Of course, I also went to tell the officer what just happened inside.
15. The wrong pizza
A pie right in the face.
I was standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at, when this lady stormed in and slammed a pizza down on the counter.
"This isn't the pizza I ordered; what are you going to do about it?" she demanded.
I looked at the pizza, then at my buddy Nick, and turned back to her and said, "Nothing.”
She then went on a long rant telling us how we were going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were and then demanded why we weren't going to do anything?
I said, "Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street."
I think she actually managed to shrink in size and slinked out looking so pathetic and beaten I almost felt bad for laughing till tears dripped down my face.
14. Park at your own peril
A swift response.
This guy came in and was being absolutely awful. He didn’t want to show ID to buy a drink, even though he looked 20 at the oldest. He was constantly yelling and swearing.
He also parked in the handicap spot despite not having handicap tags or plates on his car.
One of my regular customers, who is a sheriff's deputy, was also in the store. She saw how the guy was acting, saw where he was parked, went out, got her ticket book and wrote the guy a ticket.
The guy realized he wasn't getting his drink and went outside ... to find he was getting ticketed. I could not stop laughing.
13. No dogs allowed
Puppy troubles.
Warehouse worker here. Customers have to show a card to shop, and even though we're not technically a grocery store, we don't allow pets.
One dude tried to power walk past the employee at the entrance door holding a big pitbull puppy on a leash.
We stopped him and told him he couldn't bring his dog inside and he LOST IT. He said he was our best customer and he was here five times a week and he owned stock, blah, whatever.
He demanded to know why we don't allow dogs. We explained how it's a food safety issue, especially with an untrained puppy. At this point our manager came over and just waved him through (because he had no backbone and the customer’s always right).
Well, not even five minutes later, this dog squatted in the middle of the main aisle and peed, followed by poop.
The man turned so red and dragged the dog towards the exit, abandoning his groceries. We stopped him and asked him nicely to please clean up after his pup. "That's the reason we don't allow them, sir."
12. The Black Friday beast
Alternative title: Revenge of the Retailers.
Worked at a Best Buy about 10 years ago; this happened on a Black Friday.
Most of the customers were in bad moods since they'd been waiting hours to come in and stand in more lines. But this one lady was a raging witch.
After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDED the laptop that was on sale despite it being sold out, she proceeded to tell us she'd have the store closed down because she "works with the city and knows the fire marshall and we have too many people in the store."
So she called him, we told her to leave, and nothing happened to the store.
However, we called them as well to report what she'd said, and she got fired from her job for abuse of power.
| mayonays
11. Tipped off
Tip your servers, folks.
More than a few decades ago I worked at Denny's.
I had two male customers that decided to dine and dash. Got their license plate number and reported it to the cops and jokingly mentioned that they didn't even tip.
Later that night, the guys got pulled over for driving under the influence. The cops recognized the license plate number from the report, brought them both back to the restaurant and forced them to pay the bill.
After one of the guys was done paying, the cop just stood there and looked at them and said, “Well?”
The guy sheepishly handed me my tip.
| [deleted user]
10. Drag queen vs. drama queen
*Snap, snap*
I manage a plus-size women’s clothing store, and once a drag queen came into the store to pick up some shoes they ordered online. They must have been either coming from or going to a show because they were still in full makeup.
I got their name, and during our conversation another customer walked in. I called out a greeting and said something like, "I'll be right with you."
I went to the back room, and it took a minute to go through all the web orders. I found the one I needed and was on my way back to the counter, when the new customer threw her arm out to stop me from passing.
She said, "I am a new customer and I've been here for 20 minutes and no one has spoken to me."
A) I greeted her when she came in, and B) she had only been in the store for five minutes at that point.
I resigned myself to grovelling, but before I could say anything the drag queen stomped over, glared at the customer, and said, "She said hello to you.” Complete with sassy finger snaps.
The queen then made a big show of thanking me for getting her package and gave me a big sparkly kiss on the cheek before she left.
The other customer sheepishly paid for her Spanx and didn't make eye contact when I told her to have a good day.
9. Spilled milk
Told her so.
I worked in a small café. In came this woman (must have been about 58-62 ish) and her husband and their grandchild. The wee boy was adorable and the grandmother was all over him.
The wee boy's milk was ready first, just milk in a Styrofoam cup with a lid and straw. He must have been two or three, and that's just what we do for kids that age.
I took it over and the grandmother looked at me like I'd just put a turd on the table.
She said she wanted it in a cup, and I explained the only cups we had were coffee mugs, too heavy for a small child and easy to spill. She said she wanted it anyway, so I went back to the bar area.
Her sandwich was ready, so I took it over with the milk in a mug. She looks at the sandwich like it was the last straw. "That's not chicken, that's revolting!"
I explained that, as it said on the menu, it was chicken and parmesan mayonnaise. She shook her head like I was an idiot and just thrust it back at me. I ignored her, didn't ask if she wanted something else, I just walked away.
Then I heard a yell and a crash.
The wee boy picked up the mug of milk, and it must have been too heavy because he dropped it, soaking both himself and the grandmother and smashing the cup on the floor.
Sure, we had to clean it up, but my smugness was as close as I dared get to "I told you so.”
8. Too much excitement
She had a good case ... of indigestion.
I was waiting at a hotel reception while a young staff member checked me in.
A really obnoxious woman flounced over, interrupted what the girl was doing and proceeded to rant about the standard of the kettle in her room.
She ranted on and on about only having a "normal kettle" until I told her to wise up and get in line behind me. She shouted that she had been travelling all day and that the room was not a suitable standard. I pointed out that it was an airport hotel, we'd all been travelling all day and that she should just get lost.
By now the girl at the desk was red and tearful. The woman banged her fist on the desk, demanded to see a manager and then had a coughing fit.
She promptly pooped herself all through her beige trousers. She didn't hang around after that.
7. Damage protection
Should have stuck with the original GameBoy. Those are indestructible.
I was selling a woman a Nintendo 3DS for her son. I had given the son the box while I was ringing everything up because he was so happy to get his new toy.
When it came time to talk about the accidental damage protection plan, she gave me an unreasonably hard time, making it sound like I accused her child of not being able to take care of his toys.
The second she said that, the kid threw the box across the store into some shelves and knocked down a bunch of games.
She bought the four-year plan.
| JozzyV1
6. The long wait
He was definitely caffeine-deprived.
I work at Starbucks. One day as I was working the drive through, we were having longer than normal wait times, as we were short-staffed.
This one guy got up to the window in a huff and started yelling at me and complaining about his wait. I apologized and told him his total.
He literally threw his credit card at me, but it bounced off the bottom of the window directly underneath his truck.
We looked at each other for a second, and then he sent his daughter out of his truck to look for it.
I informed them it was right under their truck, so he moved his truck up a bit, got out, picked it up and handed it to me gently without making eye contact (as he was squeezing himself between the tail end of his truck and the wall of the building), being pretty embarrassed as everyone behind him was watching.
It was pretty satisfying.
| rahksi
5. No rest for the wicked
Cue cranky walk of shame.
Used to sell mattresses. One Saturday, this cranky old dude comes in, but before anyone can greet him, he's complaining about literally everything.
We're trying to help him, but he shoos anyone who approaches him away. Of course, then he turns around to complain about no one helping him.
Dude is old, like I said, and he can't get around well. We recommend he not lie down on an all-foam mattress if he won't let anyone help him up. He says something rude and blows us off.
He hobbles over to a foam mattress, one that is right next to a wall. This wall also has a TV display sticking about eight inches out from the wall, and it constantly plays ads.
Old man lies down on the bed and immediately hates it. He sits up and he realizes it will be difficult for a man in his condition to get off the bed, but he won't ask for help.
Dude launches himself off the mattress and straight into the TV display.
My manager loses it. The guy tries to bark at us, but everyone else is too busy trying not to laugh, so he gives up and cranky-walks out of the store.
4. Billing error
Well, that certainly backfired.
One lady laid into me for the amount on the bill, calling me every bad word in the English language.
She said we overbilled her. She requested I go through her order.
I found out we underbilled her by $1,000 dollars due to a misplaced zero.
The silence on the other line was so beautiful.
| [deleted user]
3. Time to settle the tab
How would you like to pay?
I am a bartender/server in a popular corporate bar and restaurant. This loser guy and his trashy girlfriend were rude the entire time.
Initially, they wouldn't make eye contact and interrupted my greeting by ordering two margaritas. They took up my table for two hours, ordered a ton of food, drinks and dessert, all the while treating me like garbage (eye rolling, scoffing, generally being aggressive, sent back an appetizer, etc.)
I dropped off their check hoping they'd leave as soon as possible and honestly didn't care if they tipped. I certainly didn't expect them to. They waited till I bussed another table and went back to the kitchen, wrote "bad service" and drew an obscene image on their check, then walked out without paying.
I discovered this about three minutes after they exited the building. By this time, it was 20 minutes to closing. I had no other tables, but to my absolute pleasure, the guy had left his keys and cell phone in the booth.
I grabbed my manager, and we sat in the booth behind the one they'd just left, knowing they'd either call or have to come back in very shortly. Sure enough, they called, the manager answered and politely and enthusiastically told them to come right in.
And when they did, I sat there holding the keys and cell phone with a huge smile on my face, while my manager demanded payment for their $129 tab.
2. Technical difficulties
How to make a bad situation worse.
I work for a tech company.
A guy came in with a broken phone and demanded that we repair it for free. When I explained that his warranty for his phone did not cover accidental damage but did cover faults in manufacturing, he then went and bent his entire phone to the curve of the table.
At that point he said the phone shouldn't bend that easily and therefore it was the fault of the manufacturing. To which I said, "It wouldn't bend like that if you didn't purposely break it. Now you need to pay for a whole new phone.”
He got really angry then and started cursing at me. When my manager came over, he told the customer the same thing.
The instant karma was that the cost of replacing the screen in the first place is just under a third of the cost of the whole unit price, which I would have told him if he had given me the chance.
1. Radio Smack
Who gets that upset about batteries?
I used to work at a RadioShack in my area during college. It was never really busy on Sundays, so I was generally the only worker there.
I pulled into the parking lot Sunday morning and was instantly greeted by a man who proceeded to start yelling at me. I put on my sales associate smile and kindly asked what the problem was.
"I've been waiting here for 30 minutes, and you are late!" I wasn't late, I was actually 15 minutes early.
He then followed closely behind me to the door and was screaming at me the whole way. "I'm never coming back to this store," and stuff like that.
When I finally got the door open, I let him know that I had to turn the alarm off and count the register before I could help him. This also made him angry ... but at this point I didn't care.
Anyway, I finally went to help the guy out, and he wanted to know about batteries. Cool, easy.
He went off. He started screaming and yelling about how everything was outrageous and the prices were terrible. He started to pound his fist on the counter and started yelling again about how we didn't have any name-brand batteries (we did) and how RadioShack was communist by trying to push their batteries on their customers.
He stormed off, punched a battery display, and proceeded to slam, face first, into our door.
Turned out that since he was yelling and screaming at me while I was unlocking the doors, I forgot to unlock the other one. He quickly looked around to see if I had seen him. I just waved and told him to have a great day.
